My Dad Was Just Diagnosed With Dementia. What Do I Do First?

The feeling most people describe to us is not grief yet. It is a quiet dread: something enormous just became your responsibility and no one handed you the instructions. You are doing arithmetic in your head at eleven at night.

You are probably not too late. In Florida, the thirty days after a dementia diagnosis are some of the most valuable a family gets, because almost everything that protects your father has to be signed by him, and right now he still can.

Days 1 to 7: ask him, while he can still tell you

A diagnosis does not flip a switch. Florida's Power of Attorney Act defines incapacity as the inability to take the actions needed to manage property and benefits (Fla. Stat. 709.2102), and early Alzheimer's disease does not automatically meet that definition. Capacity is judged decision by decision.

So week one is a conversation, not paperwork. Who does he want handling the money? Who should make his medical decisions, which need not be the same person? Where does he want to live for as long as it is safe? Write his answers down in his own words. Those sentences settle arguments among brothers and sisters later.

Days 7 to 21: the four signatures

• Durable power of attorney (Fla. Stat. 709.2105). His signature, two witnesses, a notary, effective the day it is signed (Fla. Stat. 709.2108). The powers that matter most in a crisis, including gifts and beneficiary changes, exist only if he initials next to each one (Fla. Stat. 709.2202).
• Health care surrogate designation (Fla. Stat. 765.202). Two adult witnesses, no notary. He can authorize his surrogate to decide right away, without waiting for physicians to declare him incapacitated.
• Living will (Fla. Stat. 765.302). His own instructions about life prolonging treatment, so no one has to guess for him in a hallway at two in the morning.
• Preneed guardian designation (Fla. Stat. 744.3045). Signed before two witnesses and filed with the clerk of the court, it tells a judge whom your father chose if a guardian is ever needed.

Review the will, the deed, and every beneficiary designation at that same appointment, and bring your father with you, because he is the one who signs. Our power of attorney guide covers each requirement.

Days 21 to 30: gather the paper while it is still easy

No one wants to think about nursing home costs in month one. Do it anyway. Florida reviews the 60 months before a long term care Medicaid application, and a gift or a below value transfer creates a penalty calculated with the state's transfer divisor, $10,645 as of August 2026 and adjusted each January, April, and July. So build one folder now: five years of statements, the deed, vehicle titles, insurance policies, and every beneficiary designation.

The conversation about driving

It comes up in the first month, and it is usually the hardest one. In Florida, a physician, or any person who knows of a driver's medical condition, may report it to the Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles, which can call the driver in for reexamination. The report is confidential and the law protects whoever makes it (Fla. Stat. 322.126). The doctor is usually a better messenger than a son or daughter.

What waiting costs

If capacity goes before those documents are signed, no one can sign them for him, and no notary can fix it afterward. What is left is a petition to determine incapacity (Fla. Stat. 744.3201): an attorney appointed for your father, a three member examining committee, proof by clear and convincing evidence, and a judge deciding which rights come off (Fla. Stat. 744.331). It repeats every year, paid from his own property (Fla. Stat. 744.108). Our page on when a parent has dementia walks through all of it.

Three calls to make this month

• His physician. Ask that the diagnosis, the date, and the stage go in the medical record, and ask for a memory disorder clinic referral.
• The Elder Helpline, 1-800-963-5337. Florida funds respite care for caregivers, and respite is what keeps you standing.
• Your brothers and sisters. One point of contact, one monthly update. Most family fights we see began as a bookkeeping question no one answered.